Bear Conventions - Oh My!

I really think there may be a bear convention that kicks off right around pre-hunting season. They all get together... probably around a campfire (my story - go with it), and decide how they will torment a gal named, Emily, during the hunting season. The ring leader probably goes by the name "Boo." He rounds up all the little forest creatures for their pre-hunting season game plan.

Anyway, Boo and his pals must have come up with a good plan this year b/c he got me good! Somehow the bear crew planted additional worry into my brain. How they did this? I have no clue. I'm sure they poisoned my stash of freeze dried food somehow. Or maybe it was the stories of their tent raids - which they made sure I was aware of. E.g, the hunter that we "happened" to talk to on the top of a ridge who told me of your raid on his tent while out hunting. It was completely flattened. Nice work, guys! I didn't get a wink of sleep that night even with my .40 on my chest. In fact, I may have given myself Shingles from worrying so much. Honest.

Then, there was the time we were headed to lunch and you decided to meander down the hill by us. Thanks for the visit, but it was a little close for hunters without bear tags.

And finally, I'm not sure how you pulled this one off, but it really takes the cake! Killing my cell phone! Really??!! I fell for it. You got me good... eating all sorts of berries and turning your scat a bright purple. I was so intrigued that I had to open the truck door to get a better look at the pile in the road. And just as I opened the door, my cell phone and purse slipped out. The truck tire squished my possessions right before my eyes. I couldn't get the words out fast enough to tell the driver *ahem* my husband to stop.

Seriously! Didn't anybody tell you that I didn't even have a bear tag this year?? But after all the trouble that you caused me this year, I'm thinking that a bear rug and bear steaks in my freezer sounds good for next year. Game on!